Will the Basket Survive???
Will the Basket Survive???
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Don't Forget: Donald Sterling is Also a Shitty Owner

Illustration for article titled Dont Forget: Donald Sterling is Also a Shitty Owner

Basketball players may not wear pads, but it doesn't mean the NBA isn't a full-contact league. Ask LeBron's gullet. Some calls are blown by accident, like that one. Others go unacknowledged by design.


Consider the litany of whistles available to the NBA referee at any given moment. Being between the ball and the center of the earth after a dunk is technically against the rules, players palm the ball like they're sorting laundry, and virtually everything that occurs in the painted area is assault compared to the average perimeter touch foul. Refereeing is highly subjective.

Further, just because one player is tagged with a personal on a play doesn't mean there wasn't a separate foul occurring contemporaneously; ever seen two players raise their hands after a blown whistle? Dwight Howard's lackadaisical sideswipe doesn't erase James Harden's over-aggressive screen pursuit (as if). Not with SportVU cameras, at least.


Here's the point: yes, Donald Sterling is a pathetic slug who looks like someone took the stitches out of an old sweater. His recent comments are shockingly execrable, even for an ancient oligarch most notable for being the biggest turd in a group of 30 incredibly huge turds. For evidence, slam your face into your Magic Mouse and click literally anywhere on any web page. But that isn't enough for Donald Sterling, is it? Old Slimer looking ass motherfucker. My man looks like one of those snakes who dies because it tried to swallow a cow, except with worse skin. Nice face, Beetlejuice.

Anyway, no. Never forget this dumbass bigot's most embarrassing moment; but at the same time, remember this: he sucks as a person and an owner! He can't own a basketball team worth a damn! This guy would fuck up taking a dump if he could do it courtside. Let's reminisce.


He complained about Vinny del Negro being fired, and then accused his best player of being the reason

Amazingly, he berated someone else for being fat (again, his own player)

He fired a fan

He refused to pay his other awful coach

He took 10 years to field a .500 team, and has done it precisely 5 times in the ensuing 2 decades


Plus he looks like the stuff you scrape off the top of cheese dip.

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